Klobber's Story
by iheartLink
Summary: "K. Rool is not and has never been evil. That's the most cruel lie ever told. Ever. Don't be fooled. DK is not the hero. He betrayed us." A possible truth behind DKC2, a truth that will set you free. My theory behind the game. Told in a Kremling's pov.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: I have a theory on DKC2 that probably isn't canon but is nonetheless very interesting. I don't want to explain too much, but I will say that I think K. Rool represents the Christian God, DK Kong is the devil, and Diddy and Dixie Kong represent Adam and Eve who are deluded into thinking the devil is the hero (the rest of the Kongs represent demons). Very great game. Still love it to this day but misleading. I am going to make an animation about it ASAP! The main Klobber represents a human (a more modern day Eve, I believe) who came after Adam and Eve who is the true hero along with a lot of the Kremlings (who represents the angels) This is what I think the true meaning is. Enjoy!**

Good evening or good morning, ladies and gents. The name's Klobber! I'm from DKC2. I'm a diabolic looking reptile who is the son of K. Rool. He's not my real father of course. My step-father more or less.

I love him more than anything.

My real parents are Klobbers, my mother a black one who steals lives (souls), my father a TNT Klobber who kills.

I am a girl. I am the only green gurl in the Klobber tribe. The rest of the green are men. They are all clones created by my parents who are way bigger than me. They control everything. They are behind the scenes. For every evil, they are behind it.

K. Rool is not and has never been evil.

That's the most cruel lie ever told. Ever.

Don't be fooled. DK is not the hero. He betrayed us.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: There's a couple of things I must say before you read further. I know the first line of this chapter to this will be troublesome for many of you. It's understandable, but remember that DK's ancestor used to kidnap a princess (named Paula, I think? Remember Jumpman?), a princess who could only stand still there like some used Barbie doll being heavily manipulated. This should be a big red flag for many of us, and should tell you that maybe those apes like DK are not as great as they seem to be. Do you see the Kremlings doing that ever? No, right? So who's the real villain here?**

 **Also, if you still don't accept this story, don't flame me, or be mean to me. I'm a 26 year old woman who's been abused all her life; I don't have time for people's cruelty anymore. So if you continue to do so, I will hide your comments or block you. Remember that this is for mature adults, and mature adults only. This story is only for truth seekers who see the spiritual meaning behind classic video games. This isn't a story to make you feel "comfortable." It's to do the exact opposite, so don't read if you can't handle it. I gave you fair enough warning.**

 **Extra note: I will misspell some things on purpose to try and get into the character of the Kremling, Klobber but won't do it enough where this reading becomes less enjoyable and since this particular Klobber is well educated, as you will see.**

DK raped me. Yeah, you heard me right. I am a monster because of him, and I forever seeth in hatred towards him. I always remember.

Every night, I hide in my barrel and cry, desperately wishing to escape from myself. I used to be a beautiful human without a barrel before, but now I'm...this! This "thing."

Actually to tell you the truth, because of DK we are all monsters! All the reptiles. Even God...I mean, K. Rool. Am I scaring you yet? I know I scare everyone, even the other Kremlings. Even...my boyfriend, Klobber2. It's an unfortunate disaster.

By DK betraying us, we all have to suffer for it. All of us. No one is spared. Even Diddy and Dixie Kong, they have to suffer the most.

I almost feel sorry for them more than myself. Almost. But they look more beautiful than I could ever be. So...I torment them in the first level of DKC2, Pirate Panic, at the very end. I can't help it, I like it. I'm a monster after all. What do you expect these days?

But anyway, Diddy and Dixie have to serve DK no matter what. It's a sad thing really. I can't fully understand it. Not. At. All. I mean, I have to serve my real parents who are evil, but I don't fully have to serve them, just K. Rool. That's it.

 **I may reedit this later since I'm not fully certain on where I want this story to go, but I'm trying my best! This is a very personal story to me, so it may take me longer to update this story. Sorry in advance!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the month long wait, for anyone who is waiting, if anyone is waiting... Lol. Either way though, I'm going to tell this story no matter if it's popular or not because I think it's good, and that's all that truly matters (I'm open to suggestions though if you guys have any). Enjoy!**

It's a battle. From the very beginning, that's all there ever has been- the battle between the monkeys and the lizards, the furry "friends" vs the reptilian bastards. We weren't always lizards. We were beautiful angels, all of us except for Diddy, Dixie, K. Rool, and me, my boyfriend, Klobber2, the rest of the Klobbers, and my parents, precisely. But then...the world, DK...he changed us, and the demons who became monkeys (DK's followers) corrupted the Earth.

We tried to stop them, but we never could.

We are the true heroes. Not them. Us.

We only became reptiles because of this world and what DK did to me.

My real parents became evil. Before DK's deed, there were no Klobbers. There was no need for such evil diabolical creatures to make us lizards look bad.

We tried making a compromise with the monkeys and apes, but no kan do.

It's a shame. I will never understand them damn monkeys!

And that is why I am here to tell you my point of view, my story to save us crocs from this scripted endless cycle of defeat from the monkeys.

At that moment, that's all I can do to help our world at this point- working in an underground type of way like this.

All I have left.


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm just kinda coming up with something as I go. If I need to edit this story later, I will because I know it may not be in the best shape as of now. Please bear with me, folks! I hope this is good in y'alls eyes. Follow the story if you like it so that you can get updated on the edits if there are any!**

The truth is that enemies means friends, and friends means enemies. That's K. Rool's philosophy that we Kremlings all follow. On the outside, it may seem like we all treat each other like shit, but the truth is...all we are doing is using our freedom of expression, unlike those stupid monkeys and apes. We aren't afraid to tell each other how we really feel unlike those dreaded apes.

We know what true love is. Anything those monkeys say about "friendship" is a lie. They say it's about being "kind" and being able to look for each other, but it's a bunch of bullshit.

By being "kind," they actually mean "not being able to share each other's true feelings and thoughts, shutting the hell up about it."

This is not to say that we Kremlings are all perfect, but at least we admit it! They never admit that they are ever wrong, and that's a worse evil that we could ever kommit.

That's the first thing to understand to understand about us Kremlins!

We value realness and honesty which is the key to finding true love. Without these things, what do you have?

Out of all the Kremlings, that's what me and my boyfriend have the most of, a piece of true love. Although we can never have real sex due to our barrels being too tight on us to take off, we have true intimacy due to our values, and that's all that matters right now. At least...that's what I'm trying to believe right now.

You see, the truth about us Klobbers is that the Klobber tribe is full of master manipulators and perverts. The master manipulators are the black Klobbers who consist of all the females. I stay away from all of the females. Hell, I stay away from the TNT Klobbers too. The TNT Klobbers are a special type of perverts. My own father tried to take my life and died in the process!

The green Klobbers aren't any better. Since they are all male, they all are perverts as well, and unforuntately...they don't die so easily. I am their princess; I am the one who has to keep the green Klobbers in check. I hate my job most of the time, but my boyfriend, Klobber2 makes everyday worth my time. Even though they all look the same, I can always tell where Klobber2 is in a crowd. Klobber2 is the only green that is decent and pure since he was a clone made from K. Rool and not my parents.

Admittedly, I feel like a pervert myself since I am so desperate for sex with my boyfriend, but I also feel like a master manipulator since I'm able to influence the Kremlings so greatly as a princess, even the Kremlings who aren't Klobbers. I am something that is all in one. I may not be able to steal lives (souls) or kill with a TNT barrel, but I have the ability to continually make someone fall to their death. I say continually because I am able to respawn over and over again. I can never truly die.

No one in this place can except for maybe my parents who weren't in DKC2. It's a blessing and a curse, a blessing because we always have the time to get rid of those damn monkeys but a curse because we always fail to due to "the script".

"The script" is a stupid contract that K. Rool had to sign because of DK. It states that the true heroes (us) can never truly win; we are always bound to lose no matter what, and no matter what, the true villains of the show get to be rewarded as if they are the true heroes.

K. Rool, these days, is up to some kind of plan to help fix that; I just don't know what. He won't tell us.

But I find him smiling more these days, and when he smiles a lot, you know he has a plan.

I'm his favorite, but he wouldn't even tell me, so it must be big. I personally kan't wait, but in the meantime...I have more to say.

There's so much to say and so much time to spare, it's unbelievable.


	5. Chapter 5

I got into a bad car accident before I really died. In a green Chevrolet.


	6. Chapter 6

I turned into a monster because of DK. It's all his fault. I'm not to blame, even though I feel like everything is my fault.

Today, K. Rool told me that it's not my fault at all, and that we will get even.

Someday.

 **And that's it, folks! That's the end of the story. Probably could have said more, but I didn't think it was necessary for a story like this. This will be probably the last Donkey Kong Country fanfiction I will ever write. If you wish to see my other works, feel free to. Thank everyone for reading.**


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